


Won't You Stay Til' The A.M?

by angelmist



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Jeonghan, M/M, horse rider!jisoo, jisoo - Freeform, spoiled kid!jeonghan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-14 08:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13586052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelmist/pseuds/angelmist
Summary: Spoiled, rich boy Jeonghan was tricked into going on a vacation to his grandparents' farm for the summer break only to meet a familiar boy named Hong Jisoo.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Jeonghan had it all. He had the attention, popularity, money, and status to get him through life, thanks to his parents. Obtaining such a spoiled attitude, he was relentless. One day, his parents offered him an opportunity to be out and about in the world during summer break and he wholeheartedly agreed. Long story short, his parents tricked Jeonghan in going to stay at his grandparents' place for the entire break to not only shape up his attitude, but to experience the hardships he has never had to go through. He hated it, but a certain boy named Hong Jisoo made it better.  
> \---  
> A/N: this is the first long chapter to start a story off i've ever done bUT I FINALLY DID IT!!! OKAY BUT "THANKS" IS JUST SO GOOD AND I'M SO HECKIN' HAPPY JISOO GOT LINES AND SO MUCH SCREEN TIME  
> JIHAN SITTING TOGETHER???? MY AESTHETIC, YOU MEAN?? UGH I LOVE SEVENTEEN SO MUCH, I'M SO PROUD OF MY BOYS, PERIOD. prays for myself bc its 2 am but yes jeonghan is gonna have his long blond, silver hair for a bit in the story and then yayayyaya : ')

Yoon Jeonghan was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. 

Jeonghan could recall the excitement that coursed through his body. Last day of school, having went through the terror of each class, but somehow managing to skip a few at the very least, but passing with such a high grade, others envied him. He lives a good life; rich family, high status, spoiled rich kid, what else did he  _not_ have. He took pride in the money, the small material things he knew he didn't need, but delved in it. It was a blessing, a privilege, something he took for granted. His parents were famous in the industry business, and having such a busy life, it was usually money being placed in his hands to survive while they were gone. Jeonghan got too used to that and let himself be spoiled until it was  _suffocating._ Never in his life has he lifted a pretty finger of his, he never saw the need to, same with his "friends" that _cherished_   ~~his status~~  him deeply. It was possible that Jeonghan was the starring role, and he  _loves_ it. 

It wasn't until he got home that he thought his day was getting better. His parents were home, the house was lively as ever since they were gonna set off on another long trip and leave him home alone until whoever knows how long. Instead, they offered him a deal; a trip away from this lonesome home and off to live with his grandparents until school returns. Immediately, Jeonghan agreed, recalling his lovely grandparents from his father's side. His parents already purchased his ticket off and butted in that it was the grandparents from his mother's side, the ones he couldn't quite recall. 

The doctors said it was something called  _infantile amnesia._ Jeonghan was born and raised at that house and he couldn't recall one bit. But, he moved away a few years later and a couple months of that, while he was showing his parents he could ride a bike, he fell off, hitting his head on the asphalt just as fast. Not only did his  _infantile amnesia_ mess up his head, but the impact from the concrete really jumbled up his memory, even tucking them in the back of his mind for safe keeping, though, he couldn't quite trigger them. Sometimes he just had to suffer through the whimsical nostalgia of his memories he couldn't quite get back, only having to be patient. His mind, or brain, was compared to a bouquet of flowers. The cortex was the stem of the bouquet and each flower was a designated spot of the brain; frontal lobe, parietal lobe, occipital lobe, temporal lobe, and cerebellum. The memories inside, the petals that would eventually fall in due time, kept them just as close together. Everything was safely stored, but he couldn't recall anything. 

Too excited about going on a trip and leaving his home, he ignored that fact, even though, he was very well tricked by his own parents. 

The plane ride was boring. It was always boring to him, even though it also scared him. Especially during take-offs. He had no one to hold his hand or calm him down, so, he had to face the cruel reality and let his eyes shut, the PA system being drowned out but the loud shrill of his own music that flitted into his ear through his earbuds. Blunt nails dug into the armrest of the seats, fingers eventually curling around the plush object, frowning but let himself be lulled to sleep. Halfway through the ride, Jeonghan awoke and stared at the window, admiring the sunset, admiring how  _big_ he felt being so above the world. A pleased smile managed to dance across his lips, feeling the bubbling excitement sprout in his stomach, humming carelessly along with his song, eyes fluttering shut once more, letting himself fall back to sleep. 

Now tying silky, long hair back up, the strands of blond falling out of his place as he thanked the worker with a smile, grabbing his luggage after the process was down and sighed heavily, his free hand was now holding onto the plush leather of his passport, lips pursed as he scanned the area.  _It really is crowded. Mom or dad didn't really tell me anything else about the trip. Well, they did, but I don't think I was really listening._ Letting his combat boots scuff gently against the tiled flooring, he trudged closer to the waiting area and just vaguely, he missed someone holding up a card with his name on it. Looking around, his gaze was fixated on it, blinking a few times before walking over, even closer to the elder. Once he caught his attention, he bowed his head for a moment, a subtle smile appearing; yet it turned queasy and awkward.

"Yoon Jeonghan?" his gruff voice was indistinct against his ear, causing him to remain silent, deciphering the barely coherent sentence as the airport grew louder with cries of happiness or sadness, echoing along the spacious, yet suffocating building.

"Ah," he paused, "Ah.. Ah, yes, that's me," he stumbled over his words, opening his passport up to confirm with him, watching as he peered at the photo in the corner and then his name, giving the smallest of nods.

"I was told to pick you up and then drop you off." was what he said simply, folding the card, and discarding it in his pocket, "If you could follow me."

With hurried steps, he followed, suitcase trailing behind him.

/

The excitement was beginning to die down, instead an antsy feeling clung onto his very bones, feeling his heart thud against his chest. His fingers warily clasped and unclasped in his lap, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip unconsciously as his gaze drifted back towards the window.  _We've been driving for a long time. .. It honestly just looks like the middle of nowhere. Am I going the right way? Oh God, what's gonna happen?_ Scenario after scenario played in his head, scaring himself but also mentally cringing at his vivid imagination. All the houses from rich to average was dispersing into thin air as the man continued to drive, as if they never existed in the first place. Instead, he saw the blue sky and the region becoming rural, slowly, but all at once. "Are we.." he trailed off, keeping his gaze focused on the outside fo the car, "Going the right way?" he asked softly, tone laced with uncertainty as his index finger dipped inbetween the fabric, clinging onto the ripped part of his jeans.

"These are my orders." the elder spoke vaguely, shrugging loosely, "That's all I know."

The time continued to drawl on, it looked the same to him now. The atmosphere was quiet, tense even, with a side of awkwardness. Jeonghan was still growing antsy.  _Was this the right car? Maybe I'm not the right 'Yoon Jeonghan'. I really should have listened. This place looked bland. Hey, maybe it's just a large house in a secluded, peaceful area. Yeah, maybe._ He eased up a bit at the thought of that, nodding silently. Jeonghan wasn't sure how many trees he saw on the ride over, but eventually it was all weeded out and grew "plant"-less in the respectful time. He was just hoping for something good.

"Stop's here." he heard him say, watching as he slowed down.

The latter blinked, confusion evident in his eyes. There was no building in sight, just a large expansion of grass, guarded by a barely suitable fence. Hesitantly, he got out, grabbing his suitcase with it. Staring ahead, he tilted his head, turning around to say there was a misunderstanding and to take him back, but the car's ignition roared back to life and off he drove, leaving a confused boy behind. The dust from the gravel swirled around him causing him to cough, fanning it away, face scrunching up. His long hair swept back as he looked at the vast expanse of land.  _It's pretty, but there has to be a mistake. This doesn't seem right._ Jeonghan couldn't agree at all, he was having an inner turmoil while the faint sound of an ignition was heard, growing louder. He decided to ignore it, thinking of a way to get away from _here._ That was, until it slowed down and came to a complete stop. Pretending he didn't notice, his gaze remained on the region ahead of him, eyes fluttering shut. Though, that was broken once arms were wrapped tightly around him and he was whipped around the stranger to face him. And to say he wasn't taken back by his looks was quite a lie. With striking, feline-like eyes, a cute button nose, and a mirth of a thin lips with gentle freckles dusting along his cheekbones delicately; he was heavenly. His hair was a dark raven, eyes that formed into crescents as his face was suddenly cupped. Jeonghan elicited a soft gasp, feeling the warmth of the stranger's palms seep against his cheeks, warming them; giving him a tender feeling of home, of safe haven, of.. nostalgia. He recognized this feeling, this touch, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Jeonghan," the male breathed out, thumbs stroking his cheekbones, "Hannie.." he murmured, "It's been so long. Look at you! You look so good, and god, you are so beautiful," he praised, one of his hands moving over to wrap one of his strands around his index finger.

_This feels right, this is weird. I don't know who you are. Where am I? What am I doing here? Why are you suddenly here?_

"H-Hannie?" he stammered, feeling odd at the nickname, "Do I know you?" Jeonghan choked out, watching the light diminish from his striking eyes, the warmth disappearing entirely.

He clicked his tongue, a dejected posture coming to surface, "... Guess not." he muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck, "Guess I mistaken you for someone else. I'm sorry. That was a weird greeting then." the male sighed, "Anyway, I was told to get you so come on. Get in the car."

Jeonghan turned around again, now facing the vehicle. The  _old_ vehicle. The other got into the car as the latter looked at it, unsure, watching as the frail male got in with ease and looked at him expectantly, turning the ignition on. Slowly, Jeonghan got into the car, placing his suitcase in the back, with his help. "What's your name?" he asked as the ride grew silent, awkward; stuffy.  _Suffocating._

".. Hong Jisoo."

The car rattled with every bump they went over, which was a lot, it was a bumpy ride, something that didn't suit his taste, "Ah, it's nice to meet you, Jisoo. And, as you can tell, I'm Jeonghan." he mumbled sheepishly, "Are you.. Sure you don't know me?"

"Positive," he responded immediately, grip tightening on the wheel, "Mistaken you. My bad."

Jeonghan nodded, grasping onto the handle above to stabilize himself, responding, "Look, this car is pretty old," he shifted his gaze over to Jisoo, seeing the subtle hint of a smile, "Are you sure we're gonna make it to wherever we're going?"

"Don't know where we're going?" Jisoo scoffed, raising one eyebrow, "So you decided to come here without knowing anything? And I thought I was stupid. Guess the roles switched."

Offended, Jeonghan snapped back, "Hey, I don't know anything. Parents barely told me anything. I just agreed because I wanted to  _get out._ " he hissed, "I didn't want to be trapped in that home anymore."

"... For the record, I would have brought Blue and Jax but that didn't work out. Grandma was persistent to bring this garbage along with me instead."

"Blue and Jax?"

"Don't remember Blue? Your pride and joy? Y'know, horse? Jax is mine." he responded bluntly, sending a subtle look towards the confused male.

"H-Horse?" he looked at him in awe, "A horse? Really?"

"You really don't remember?" the male asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Nope, I don't remember anything from my childhood. Said it was somethin' and then my clumsy self made it worse. My head's a bit fucked, but eventually everything will return. I don't remember this place at all. I don't even know where I'm going. I shouldn't trust you, but here I am, trusting you with my life."

"Guess you could say don't trust people you just met."

"Are you saying that you're dangerous, Hong Jisoo?" Jeonghan countered, eyes twinkling in mischief.

Pulling up into the gravel driveway, he shut the car off, "Only sometimes, Yoon Jeonghan," he paused, staring ahead, "Welcome home."

Jeonghan's gaze followed his and he gaped. It was an average home in the middle of nowhere. Cattle walked along the grass lazily, following that, he saw a barn, the door opened and a horse's head was peeking out, looking at them expectantly, even as they sat in the car, "You've got to be kidding me," he voicelessly uttered, hearing a chuckle of delight from the other.  _Mom and dad really.. Wait til' I get ahold of them..._

"No jokes here, Princess. Let's hurry up and go inside, she's expecting you anyway."

"Princess?" he growled, "My name is Jeonghan!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jisoo waved him off, tugging at his ponytail gently, "Whatever you say, Princess." he grabbed Jeonghan's suitcase and set off before he could retort.

/

"Hey, where's grandma?" Jisoo asked aloud as they settled in.

"Inside the ranch with grandpa, why?" a distanced voice followed, and Jeonghan was barely able to catch it.

"Because Jeonghan is here."

"Oh, shit, really? I'll get her. But, Han better know that I am also going to smother him in a hug, thanks. Just show him where he'll sleep."

"But I don't know where that is?"

"Then just show him to a room until she's here." then the sound of the door shut echoed loudly.

"Ugh, whatever, Hansol." Jisoo muttered, glancing at Jeonghan's confused face and then gestured for him to follow. He was overwhelmed, very,  _very_ overwhelmed. The smell was really something he wasn't used to but the home gave off such a cozy vibe, he couldn't quite resist the urge of wanting to splay across the musty couch. Even though it was small, it was more welcoming than his own home ever was. His footsteps were quiet against the carpeted floor as Jisoo pushed the door open, setting his luggage inside and turned to face him, "Room, sweet, room. Most likely temporary, but settle in or whatever."

"Do you live here?" Jeonghan blurted out.

"No," he halted, "Hansol and I just help out around here." Jisoo stated and left the room, leaving him in silence.

He took the opportunity to pace around the room. Jeonghan couldn't clear his head, his bitter thoughts clung onto him, swarming his mind, letting it be tainted with his disappointed.  _No wonder they were so vague about it and left many things out. I've been tricked, lied to. Ugh. Even Seungcheol had the audacity to lie to me._ Suddenly, he whipped out his phone and silently whispered, "Please, please, please.."  _Signal!_ A soft cry of relief was heard from him as he dialed his mother's number. Seconds passed and it went straight to voicemail. Narrowing his eyes, he tried his father's number and got the same treatment. Begrudgingly dialing his number, he put it to his ear. 

"Hello?"

"Fucking listen here," his voice seethed, eyes narrowed at the small bit of chipped painting in his room as he sat down on the stiff mattress, albeit gnawing on his bottom lip after, hearing the voice on the other line pause, an airy chuckle having been heard.

"Han, come on, you can't be pissed forever." Seungcheol mused, "It was a great idea. Come on, rich boy, you're way too spoiled, learn something there. You'll finally get to understand shit that you wouldn't get from here. It'll help, I assure yo-"

"Oh, please, I can be pissed for however long I want to be, Seungcheol. You better tell mom to buy that ticket back home now or I'm gonna-"

"As your cousin and as her nephew, I'll pass. I hate joining in on the Yoon squabbles," Seungcheol paused over the phone again, humming a few times as a distinct voice was uttering words Jeonghan couldn't quite make out, "Ah, now? Really? You guys should have told me earlier. God, I think I can fit it in my schedule. Uhh.. Tell them to give me ten and I'll be out to pick 'em up, also, tell Jihoon I'm gonna be late. .. Alright, thanks. I'll pick the kids up from daycare in a few." he sighed into the phone and muttered, "Sorry, gotta go, Han. I gotta pick up my brothers. Update me, oh, and try not to kill anyone. You're staying there until break is over. It'll be good anyway. Just call me later tonight, and I'll be able to explain m- Okay, okay, I'm getting ready! Anyway, bye Jeonghan, have fun."

"Seungc-"

Unable to comprehend the situation or the words, Jeonghan blinked a few times, keeping the phone pressed against his ear. Hearing the silent resonate against the cold device, he rolled his eyes. Lips pursed, his own slender fingers curled around his phone, letting it move away from his ear and down onto his lap as he quietly brooded. The mattress dug into the back of his thighs and every time he shifted about, it creaked underneath him. The male began to silently brood, staring down at his glaring reflection against his phone screen, his bottom lip now jutted out. But, his infamous sulky, brooding session was ruined once the door slammed open against his already old walls, whatever was adorned on them was rattling, making a soft noise and there revealed someone he thought was familiar to him; someone that made him feel oddly safe, and yet, he could feel annoyance tug at him, sending him a glare he could barely manage to muster up.  _I don't know you._

"Hey, Princess, grandma wants you out of this room and doin' things that are productive." a shit-eating grin was plastered on his face, hand curled around the old, rickety gold doorknob, shaking it to enunciate the importance, "Don't got all day." he lilted, tapping the top of his wrist. 

"Shut the fuck up, Hong Jisoo." he fumed, grabbing the pillow and throwing it at him, the other male dodging to the right, snickering lightly. "And, my name is Jeonghan!"

Amusement filled his eyes, forming into delicate, soft crescents that hit Jeonghan like a wave of nostalgia, all visible anger seemed to diminish but returned just as quickly, "Sorry, Princess." he crooned, rolling his eyes lightly and then flashing him another smile, "She's expectin' ya." he hummed, leaving the door purposely open and bending down to grab the pillow and slowly tossed it back onto the bed, "And you know how she is, doesn't like to be kept waiting either. Well, if you do remember that is." he mocked, turning around and leaving before Jeonghan could retort something  _again._

"Well I'll have you.." he trailed off, knowing he left, nose scrunching up distastefully and let a wisp of a huff elicit from his parted pink lips, grabbing the pillow that was tossed, pressing it against his face as he muffled his irritated groan, long, blond hair splaying acrossed the soft fabric. 

_I've gotta survive this "vacation"._


	2. II

The sunlight peeked into the curtains. lazily shifting up his blanket, illuminating directly onto his face. As it warmed his pale complexion, one hand shot up as his face scrunched up distastefully, rubbing at his almond eyes with a soft groan. He didn't meet his grandparents directly, something went on that sent everyone inside the household to go into frenzy panic and left Jeonghan alone in the house. He took that opportunity to explore for a bit until another elderly lady walked in, startled by the male's appearance. He was redirected into his actual room, that actually was his beforehand, minus the bed that got changed. Even though he didn't quite know, it felt right; neat and tidy, everything in the same place he left it, aside from anything that he had as a child was probably packed up in a box for safekeeping. As he laid there, reminscing about his thoughts, his gaze shifted over to the clock that read 5 AM, and he whined into the pillows. "Why is it so early?" he mourned softly, looking out the window. The sunrise was barely starting, the colliding colors of yellow and orange hanging amongst the horizon while a dark purple hue decorated the sky above, signalling its turn over. The soft pantones shined vibrantly against his hazelnut eyes, staring at it in awe.  _The view is at least nice._ With his elbow propped up onto the bed, he rested his chin delicately atop his knuckles, letting out a thoughtful hum as he tilted his head. His hair splayed out across his face, the static from the warm comfort of his sheets causing some of the strands to rise. With his free hand, he moved through the long tresses, before pushing himself off the bed, blinking away any tiredness left. "I'm sure the house is still sleeping," he mumbled, stifling a yawn, "I should explore before anything happens." he concluded, nodding to himself before pausing, "But do I trust myself?" he contemplated as he got off the bed and grabbed some clothes, then shuffling into the bathroom with a shrug. 

In his tired-induced state, Jeonghan stumbled a lot, sometimes bumping his foot against the counter, causing him to wince and take a breather. Other than that, he thought his bathroom experience went well. Aside from figuring out the hard way that the temperature on the shower went opposite ways; the hot side was actually cold and the cold side was actually hot. In conclusion, Jeonghan froze for a solid two minutes before mustering up the strength to change it to a steaming hot, thawing out his already cold body. His teeth continued to chatter even after he brushed his teeth and got dressed in a thin sweater, complimented with his jeans. As for shoes, he just slid on whatever he found in his suitcase and set out of his room.

The male tiptoed out, the soles of shoes making soft sounds against the floor but he was quick enough to reach the door and exit the house. The rural region was large that Jeonghan wasn't quite sure where to start. Looking around a few times, his mouth unconsciously parted in thought.  _Chicken coop, barn, that long trail that leads to the main road, and the other trail that leads to the forest. ... Chicken coop._ He nodded, confirming his choice, though he wasn't quite sure if he was going to regret going over there. Sliding his hair tie off his wrist, he tied his hair up in a ponytail, stifling another yawn as he tugged down the sleeves of his hoodie. The smell wafted into his senses immediately, causing him to gag. His eyes watered, blinking a few times as he covered his hand with his sleeve, glancing around the area. As he walked around, he found the trail that lead to the coop. Just faintly from the inside, he could hear the coo from the chickens, along with a rooster call, signalling it was time for others to get up, but no one usually follows it, having been used to the call the rooster sings every morning. But that startled Jeonghan, the noise reverberating against his ear, letting it ring after in them. With his free hand, he grabbed at the lobe of his ear, shaking it to let the sound drown out. After, he grabbed the door, swinging it open unconsciously.

_Bad move._

A soft, surprised cry elicited from his mouth as the chickens flocked out from within the coops, startled by the door slamming. One of them, the rooster decided to fling itself onto Jeonghan, causing him to fall over onto the grass, as it stood on his chest, its head cocked to the side. Jeonghan laid there, his elbows propped up for support. His eyes were widened in shock, inching his head back as the rooster's face came close to his, closing its close proximity between them and he was  _terrified._ He held his breath, before screwing his eye shut, expecting the inevitable but the weight on him increased, causing him to open his eyes again, watching as the rooster sat on his chest instead, clucking at him before he felt another chicken fly atop his head, resting there. He blinked, confused, his fingers digging into the plush grass beneath them. 

"Clucks, Honey, get off him!' Immediately, they jumped off of him, running away from Jeonghan as fast as they could, especially because of the approaching member who extended his hand out, "You okay, Han?"

Jeonghan looked up, even as the sunlight blocked his face, he knew it was Hansol, "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." he grabbed his hand that was gloved, pulling himself up, watching as Hansol's free hand patted at his slightly dirty sweater.

"You shouldn't wear your pretty clothin' out here, Han." he mused, "First rule of thumb, unless you know your way around and how to avoid large accidents like this." his hand moved up, getting rid of the small specks of grass in his hair. 

"Well, I mean, I didn't quite know what to bring since my parents.. were a bit vague. Said I was gonna be with my grandparents but I thought of father's only and well.. I don't really remember mother's side so I didn't think I was gonna be here." he admitted, Hansol nodding, a soft noise escaping his mouth. 

"Gotcha, gotcha." he hummed, waving his hand off in dismissal, "Just a heads up though." he chuckled, patting the other's back with his gloved hand, "Probably should head back in soon and clean up before you see grandma and grandpa. Well, I mean, they aren't gonna be up for another hour but, at least you'll be presentable for them if you want to be..?" Hansol trailed off unsurely, "I don't know, whatever tickles your fancy, I guess."

"I was gonna look around more, but I'll probably be back by then."

"Where to next?"

"The barn?"

"Ah," Hansol nodded, "I'll accompany you then, sometimes they get a little rowdy, especially at new faces. Then again, majority of them grew up along with you, so they're still pretty old but they've gotta remember a familiar face." he concluded, "Come, then."

Jeonghan followed his footsteps immediately, stumbling a bit over the mound of uneven grass but caught up to his side in no time. "Is Jisoo here too?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, he is. I dunno where he went. We have a tendency of separating as soon as we come here to help. So, he's out and about somewhere here. You'll probably see him somewhere here."

The elder nodded, as Hansol opened the barn doors, gesturing for him to go in first. The smell was just as overwhelming as the chicken coop, but it was seemingly much more tolerable. The sound of hooves patted against the flooring, creating small wisps of dust to go everywhere. In each stalls were occupied by cattle and horses, some goats and sheeps lingering about in the open space. "Whoa," he breathed out, crouching down to run his fingers through the gentle wool of the sheep, "It's really.." he trailed off, loss of words as his gaze shifted about.

"It's somethin'."

"What are you doing here?" he didn't recognize the voice as he turned around, seeing a smaller male appear from one of the stalls, clad with overalls and a simple sweater. His face was scrunched up scorningly at the new face and then directed it towards Hansol, "Why are you inviting your friends here again, you idiot?"

"Jihoon," he protested weakly, "This is Jeonghan?"

His face morphed into one of surprise, "Jeonghan? You're kidding me."

"Jihoon?" he spoke unsurely as he stood up, tilting his head, "It's nice to meet you."

"What?" Jihoon rose one eyebrow, looking at Hansol who mouthed something Jeonghan didn't comprehend.

Suddenly, loud yelling was heard across the depth of the field, "Hansol, Jihoon! We need you guys!" someone called out, "Spots ran out again and we need a hand!" 

"Spots the horse or dog?" Hansol muttered underneath his breath, listening for a moment, "Okay, nevermind, horse." he confirmed, rushing out, with Jihoon hot on his trail.

"Jeonghan, don't touch anything!"

"Why do they think I'm gonna touch something?" he scoffed underneath his breath, walking in further, feeling their eyes train on him. He wasn't quite sure what to do now as he looked back, before reaching his hand out tentatively, stroking the top of the cattles head endearingly. A smile graced his lips, eyes training along the delicate spots, memorizing the small bits of the animal. That was, until he felt his ponytail being tugged and played with. Turning his head cautiously, one of the horses salivated against his hair, the horse next to the horse who had a grip on his hair, hitting its head against its neck, turning to look at Jeonghan, nudging its snout affectionally against his cheek, and then licking a long stripe against his face, causing Jeonghan to choke on the air he was inhaling as the saliva cooled on his face. "You-" he paused, tugging his ponytail away from the other horse and then wiping his face from the horse's lick, only to be replaced by another one, his ponytail being grabbed again and tugged at. "Ow, ow, ow!" he whined, tugging at the base of his ponytail, trying to get it back. The horse kept its mouth tight on it, moving up and gnawing at the hair tie and tugging it off, bouncing back on its hind legs and tossing it across the barn with a whinny. "Hey!" he protested weakly, foot stomping down, earning the same reaction from the horse that previously threw his hair tie away, and earning another affectionate lick and kiss from the horse that seemed too giddy. "Wait.. Are you guys-"

"Seems like you met Blue and Jax." a soft voice chorused, the heel of his boots clicking against the barn floor. "They seem ecstatic to see you."

"You call the one that gnawed on my hair and threw my hair tie away ecstatic?" Jeonghan huffed out, looking at Jisoo who sported an amused look.

"Jax was never fond of you after you pulled his mane roughly."

It was odd for Jeonghan to hear memories he doesn't recall. Instead of protesting, bringing up that he thought Jisoo didn't know him, he let it slide once he noticed the look of nostalgia washing over his face with a fond smile.  _What were we?_ Jeonghan bit down on his bottom lip, turning away to look at Blue. Various questions buzzed in his head as he felt so.. empty. Felt so empty without the memories and not being able to face the nostalgia along with him.  _Jisoo looks sad._ He thought to himself, sighing, and then muttered, "I'll try hard."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," he chirped, smiling lightly, his hand reaching up to pat Blue's head now, ruffling his mane as Jax nudged the underside of his chin for attention, "Why did I name him Blue?"

".. Ask yourself that." Jeonghan turned to look at him, watching the conflicted expression cover his face now; eyebrows furrowed.  _He closed himself off once more._ Jeonghan's hand lowered, facing him properly, earning a laugh from Jisoo as he looked over him, watching the dirtied attire from head to toe, along with his hair that was a complete mess, along with the spit that shined vibrantly against his pale face. "You're such a mess, Princess, I can't take you seriously." he wheezed out a response, arm tucking over his stomach, slouching over as Jeonghan grunted.

"First off, it's Jeonghan, not Princess!" he hissed, "And.. Does it really look bad?"

"You're covered in muck and all those gross things." Jisoo watched as Jax's tongue darted out, taking Jeonghan's hair back into his mouth, gnawing on the strand as Blue leaned into nudge him with his snout. "And they missed you and adding onto that mess."

".. Thanks for sugar coating that, Jisoo." 

"No problem, Princess." 

Jeonghan clenched his hands into a fist, forcing a smile before tugging his hand away. "What can I say? People and animals love me." he said forcefully, brushing past Jisoo who snorted.

"Of course, everyone was in love with you here."

"What?"

Jisoo just shrugged, walking besides him now, hands stuffed inside his pocket, "Nothin'." he paused, "Grandma and grandpa wanted me to fetch ya, hope you're ready for some coddling. But I'm sure they're gonna make you clean up."

"Well, I'd prefer to clean up anyway." he muttered, walking into the house once Jisoo opened the door.

"Hong Jisoo, that better be you! I told you to watch over Jeonghan and take care of him."

"Don't worry, I found our adventurous pretty boy."

The house was warm, food flooding into his senses, making his stomach growl immediately. The house was bustling with excitement and it quieted down for a moment as they heard the door. Two elderly people peeked out from the kitchen, the woman's mouth forming into one of excitement, "Jeonghan? Jeonghan! It's nice to finally see you," she cooed, examining his attire and couldn't help but laugh as her fingers ran through his spit slicked hair, "Seems like you had a wild morning," she laughed, sending Jisoo a look.

"Found him in the barn. Jax and Blue just missed him is all."

"Clucks and Honey found him too!" Hansol mused from the back, peeking his head in from the back door, seeing the horse try to peek its head in as well.

"It's nice seeing you, aside from the photos we see online or the news on TV, you're really handsome, Jeonghan." his grandpa added in, earning a thoughtul lilt from his grandmother.

"Ah, I promise I dress up nicer than this," he mused, his hands moving up to tie his hair up with his hand only, keeping it off his sweat slicked neck, "But I'm.. Gonna go get cleaned up, if that's alright..?"

"Of course, dear, feel free to. When you're back we can catch up a bit more."

Jeonghan smiled and nodded before rushing through the hall and into his room, locking it behind him quickly. He discarded his clothing immediately and grabbed new clothes and bolted into the bathroom, ready to clean himself up.  _It's never good to shower more than once a day but this is an emergency._ He thought, turning the water on correctly this time.  _Note to self, don't shower if you're gonna head out into the coop or the barn, just wait til' later._ Jeonghan's shower was fast, but with his hair, he tended to it carefully; shampooing and conditioning it thoroughly until it was silky once more. When he was done, he dried himself off, making his hair semi damp, and got dressed, heading out of his room and back into the kitchen where he lingered about, seeing Hansol and Jisoo sitting on the couch, Jihoon walking in, gaze fixated on his phone. "Anyone know if Chan is swinging by?" 

"He's been a bit moody lately," Hansol piped in.

"And his summer vacation starts tomorrow, so no doubt he's not coming today." Jisoo added in, nodding at Jihoon.

"Jeonghan, sit, sit." his grandmother beckoned him towards the table that was almost completed with food, his grandfather sitting in front him, "How's your mom and dad?"

Jeonghan stilled, sighing deeply and then forcing a smile, "Great as always, but I can't really speak for them. I don't see them for month's on end because of their business trips. I guess they felt bad this time and sent me off here." he mumbled, but then quickly saying, "I'm not saying it's bad but..."

"Just not something that was ideally your vacation," his grandfather finished, as he smiled sheepishly.

"They didn't really tell me what's up; said they'll send me off to my grandparents', thought it was father's, but then they said it was you guys, but they never.. Told me about you guys really. Until now. So, I'm sorry." he bowed quickly, startling everyone who was listening, "I'll be sure to remember you guys somehow. I promise. Just give me time."

".. Jeong, lift your head up."

"I'm sorry, it's just.. I don't know. I'm.. Infuriated with my parents right now and I'm trying my best not to snap here, and I want to know you guys again, I just feel so overwhelmed and I can't help but feel bad I don't have any recollection of any of you guys. You guys treated me so.. Well, that I can't help but I have to return the favor by remembering."

".. Your parents already informed us, but we let it slip our mind that we forgot to tell the other kids, they're surely heartbroken, maybe even Chan too if he was here." Jeonghan glanced over at the trio who focused their gaze on the TV instead. "What'd the doctor's say about this?"

"It's.. I'm not sure if I'll ever not have the blanks in my life." he paused, "But, I will... Try my hardest." he said slowly, wanting the conversation to end. 

His grandmother took note, and nodded, "Don't stress yourself out too much. You have the Summer with us, don't be down about it already." his grandmother said, finishing the last of the plates, "Okay, breakfast. We'll talk about your job here!"

"Job?"

"Well, in the Summer, they host a rodeo here and we're always a part of it; setting it up, creating the flashy shows, and participating in the competitions. During the day time, it's the competitions to see who ranks where and then at night is the fair. Lucky for us, Jisoo's finally participating after years of begging."

"He's our best." Hansol praised, patting his brother's head, who shyed away, glaring.

"Don't think too highly of me."

"So, we're gonna have a job for you."

Jeonghan looked at them oddly for a moment, noticing their beaming smiles, and then Jisoo's smirk.

"Don't tell me you thought it was going to be a relaxing vacation?" Jisoo mocked, eyes flaring with amusement.

"Oh, shut up."

"They're quarreling again!" they all chorused, causing Jeonghan to scoff in disbelief, Jisoo rolling his eyes.


	3. III

Sweat slicked skin,

Damp hair, 

and a fatigued body, 

Jeonghan was absolutely tired and ready to sleep for the whole summer.

Work at the farm was relentless. He thought it was simple once he heard what he was supposed to do, aside from the detailed instructions that he was lectured on and had to repeat back. It was the  _opposite._ It was extremely hard and tedious and it made Jeonghan mourn every time he woke up in the morning earlier than everyone else because his body just wouldn't cooperate. Which he wasn't quite sure why, taking in consideration how sore he was. But life had a tendency to play with  _the_ Yoon Jeonghan if no one else was willing to. Not an exact justification, but enough to stop him from going mad. Days had passed since he first started, considering that he's much better than before, he can wholeheartedly agree he was getting better, or just faintly. Maybe a small dent was a sufficable terminology. The first day, Jeonghan was an absolute _mess._ He had to fill the chicken feed, but he didn't realize he left the door open and they all ran out. No one was awake so that left Jeonghan to panic and chase after them himself, loudly pleading for them to slow down and let him catch them. The amount of times he fell down as soon as he caught one, just to have it run away, was laughable. Some of them even had the audacity to fly towards him, lay on his head, and then waddle away as fast as they could just to mock him. Jeonghan found the grass much more comfortable than working. But for some reason, some unresolved resolution spurred on him and he sought out for the chickens that fled, running about, and yelling at them to slow down. He even devised a plan with the chicken feed that lead back into their coop. Which worked, aside from the two that went stray. He easilly caught one, hugging it tight to his body, despite it squirming and he placed it inside the coop, shutting the door. Long story short, he was chasing the last one and he didn't even realize that his grandparents, Jisoo, Hansol, and Jihoon were just watching him, amused, gathered on the porch, and inhabiting the lawn chairs they already had set up. It wasn't until the last one, he cheered out and immediately placed the chicken back into the coop and slammed the door shut. Grime clung onto his skin and his clothes as he slouched over, panting, sweat rolling down his face as his long, silver hair was an absolute mess. He could recall Jisoo mockingly asking him if he was okay and his grandfather telling him to go shower and change, which Jeonghan had to refuse because he stlill wasn't finished and what was the point of cleaning up now if he was gonna get dirty later. He'd find pleasure in rinsing his whole body off of the dirt when he was  _entirely_ finished. That seemed reasonable.

The remaining days, his grandmother forced Jisoo to accompany him after that incident, which made Jisoo scold him and say to wait for him before they start anything, only to have Jeonghan mock him behind his back and quickly regain his composure once Jisoo turned back around to look at him. Jeonghan's chicken coop job was taken by Hansol for the time being as he was exposed to the other jobs; the barn. He had to let out the cattle, make sure they don't stray too far from the field and check for illness and injury, to which he had to listen and focus on Jisoo while he was explaining. Somehow his gaze smoothed over his features, admiring his gentle physiognomy, looking at the freckles that dusted along his cheekbones and along his nose structure. The way his nose would crinkle up every time he was finished explaining a sentence, as he thought deeply about it. Jeonghan could recall his voice calling out his name gruffly, gaining his attention, as he just suddenly blurted out about how pretty Jisoo was. To which the other blinked, ignored what he said, despite the red hue that dusted his cheeks, and carried on with what he was saying. To put it lightly, Jisoo purposely made things harder on Jeonghan throughout the whole day, which he silently agreed he deserved and carried on with a smile with minimal complaining, or he'd get a death stare that actually made him  _very_ fearful. Jeonghan realized the farm job was harder. Not only did he have to tend to the cattle inside, but the horses, goats, and sheeps. He had to keep his senses heightened and try not to get distracted because things happen that fast. Silently, he applauded his quick reflexes.

The next job he got was by far the easiest. Water the garden in the morning, around lunch time, and then right before the sun sets. Along with that, he had to walk the dog. At first, Jeonghan thought it was easy and started without Jisoo, watering the crops and plants, but that only proved that he was truly a mess. Jisoo calling out and yelling at him for already overwatering by staying in the same spot for too long and getting scolded right after, courtesy of getting hit upside the head at his stupidity, to which he protested weakly at, jabbing at his chest instead. The two carried on in silence and once it was done, Jeonghan was relieved, while Jisoo messed with the strands in Jeonghan's hair, fixing his unkempt bedhair before continuing on with walking their dog. Spots was by far the cutest, a spotted puppy that teethed on the leash but happily complied once he realized it was a walk. Jisoo took the initiative to guide them through the usual route, making sure Jeonghan embedded this in his memory so he doesn't get lost, to which he did and asked Jisoo to show him around. Surprisingly, he agreed, and they continud on.

It was early in the morning.

But the heat began to warm Jeonghan's body. In a loose cotton shirt and a pair of jeans, along with boots that Hansol lended him, he was resting against the woven, wired fence. The soft clank was heard as it brushed against the poles that held them up. Currently, he was residing within the chicken coop area as he wiped his face with his forearm, gently avoiding the dirtied glove on his hands. Letting his eyes flutter shut, he basked in the warmth the sun rays emitted onto his skin, knowing all too well his pale skin was going to be heavily tanned by the end of the summer. He didn't even try to fight it. Besides, coming back with tanned skin and a refreshed personality doesn't sound all too bad. A smile played on his lips at the thought of that, letting his fingers curve through the woven holes on the fence, his eyes opening once he heard a set of hooves pounding against the floor, bounding its way over from quite a distance. His gaze was trained on the horse as it drew closer, recognizing Jax and the rider immediately, Jisoo.

His dark raven locks managed to shine under the rays, illuminating it into a soft light brown before dissipating as soon as it came. He rode by him, Jeonghan almost immediately admiring the beauty that radiated from the scene. His body faced towards him, watching as he circled about, rounding the herd of sheep to move back into the barn. There was some type of glow and faintly, he could see the pleased smile that appeared on his rosy lips. He secretly kept this image in his head. He really wasn't surprised about why he was so infatuated with horse riding when he was younger; it was beautiful and it showed the thrill and bond of the horse and human. It was.. admirable even. He couldn't help but be disappointed in himself for letting this slip from his head. 

"Jeonghan?"

"..Mmm?" he hummed, his gaze that was previously glassy cleared up quickly, shifting upwards to look at Jisoo with a tired smile.

"Are you done here?"

"Huh?" Jeonghan stood up quickly, looking around, before nodding, "Yeah, I am, actually."

Jisoo looked around, letting out a pleased hum, nodding, as if he was confirming his own job before letting a mischevious smile appear on his lips, "Do you want to try?"

"... Try what?"

"Horse riding."

It took a moment for it to register in Jeonghan's head, his eyes blown wide as he stammered out a reply, "W-Wait what?! Horse riding? Y-You trust me enough to do that?"

"Not necessarily trusting you because I already do," Jisoo paused, thinking of his next words, "Blue misses you."

Discarding his gloves on the fence, he scrunched his nose up before relaxing, "Fine, sure," he feigned indifference, waving a hand around as he hopped over the fence, "I'll blow your mind, Hong Jisoo,"

The latter couldn't help but snort at his words, rolling his eyes playfully, "Don't disappoint me, Yoon Jeonghan," he pulled the reins back gently, letting Jax trot along Jeonghan's side, his head moving from side to side, wanting to snatch Jeonghan's hair again, only for Jisoo to tug at the reins again, scolding the horse gently.

"You know I will never disappoint you."

/

"Jisoo, I'm scared."

"Weren't you supposed to blow my mind?"

The two stood in the barn, Jisoo holding Blue's reins as Jeonghan's gaze lingered on the overly excited horse who slammed his hooves on the barn floor, creating a racket. Jax, who was next to them, nudged his head against Blue's head to quiet him. At first, he seemed confident, thinking it was a nice walk to the park but now he realized that he was  _terrified._ He wasn't quite sure why but he just felt conflicted, having an inner turmoil with himself, lips pursed before blowing out a puff of air. "But listen, casualties can happen and I don't feel like having to stay in the bed for the remainder of summer because I broke something." Jeonghan watched as Jisoo rolled his eyes, letting the reins go before walking over to him. Silence fell over the two, just gazing at each other, and for some reason, Jeonghan felt nervous. He watched as the other's hand reached out, grabbing his wrist and slid the hair tie off his wirst and then letting his hands settle on his shoulder, turning him around quickly so his back was facing him. He blinked a few times before feeling his slender fingers brush through his hair, combing through the knots before tying his hair back into a pony tail, letting his hands slide back down and squeezing his shoulders, turning him back around to face Blue and nudged him towards the horse.

"Just get on the horse, Princess."

Jeonghan silently sulked, sending him a glare as his hand reached up, playing around with his hair that was tied up before placing his foot inside the stirrup as he grasped horn with his right hand and back jockey with his left hand, pushing himself up as he slung his other leg up on the other side, easily seating himself down on the saddle, as if his body remembered what to do. He shifted around, getting comfortable, then letting his gaze drop down to a thoroughly impressed Jisoo, as he nodded. Jisoo grabbed both Blue and Jax's rein and guided them outside of the barn. Jeonghan let out a squeak as he lurched forward, Jisoo warningly saying ' _grab onto the horn'_ to which he did immediately, inserting his other foot into the stirrup, shifting around once more to get comfortable. He could feel his heart palpiating against his chest out of anxiety as it clung onto his bones, stiffening his body with every step Blue took. He sighed deeply, trying to level out his ragged breathing, watching as Jisoo glanced at him with one quirked up eyebrow. 

"I'm gonna give you the reins."

"No," Jeonghan whined out, accidentally letting go of the horn, instead, wrapping his arms around Blue's neck gently, shaking his head.

"Han, let go of Blue -- c'mon, give me your hands. It's easy."

"It's only easy because you do this every day! I barely remember what to do!"

Jisoo groaned softly, "You're about as stubborn as always," he huffed, placing his foot on Jax's stirrup and getting on the saddle, leaning down to grab his reins and then Jeonghan's, trotting besides him, gently coaxing him out of his position and placing the reins in his hands. "Here's what we're not gonna do; don't grip too hard, don't pull too hard, and try not to be  _too_ nervous, they can sense that."

"Oh gee, thanks, Jisoo, you're my savior." he snapped back sarcastically, earning another hit on his head, causing him to rub at the sore spot, ".. Continue."

"Thank you," Jisoo muttered before clearing his throat, "When Blue starts walking, follow his movements, if you don't, that can hurt him, got it?" a nod, "To turn, depending where, if you want to turn left, pull at the rein gently with your left hand and vice versa, understood?"

".. Yes."

"Alright, those are basics. We're taking it slow, okay? Now, squeeze Blue's sides with your legs."

Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows before following what he said and scrambled for the reins immediately as Blue began to trot forward, Jax following soon after so they were side by side. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he stammered, squeezing the reins gently and relaxing as he took a deep breath. 

"You okay?" Jisoo asked, his other hand reaching out, squeezing Jeonghan's right hand briefly, offering a reassuring smile.

"Just.. peachy." he breathed out, offering his own weak smile.

"We're turning left and going to take a lap around this open space, head towards the chicken coop, take another lap, and back to the barn. Are you ready for that?"

"Born ready."

"You're not gonna disappoint me this time, right, Jeonghan?" Jisoo teased, his eyes wrinkling up gently at the corners.

Jeonghan shook his head, looking ahead of them, "'Course not, Jisoo. Would never dream of that."

/

Jeonghan had a nice experience with Blue, despite being scared most of the time but he slowly eased his way through it, without panicking, luckily. Jisoo reassured him a lot, so he had to thank him for that. There's always that fuzzy feeling he gets every time he does something fun and wants to do it again; that's how he felt as he walked back up to the house. He watered the plants for who knows how long as Jisoo went to go and lock up the barn because it was his turn. He felt like he got a bit closer to Jisoo again and kind of craved his company more after that, but he decided to keep that to himself instead. As he walked into the house, he was greeted with the smell of dinner and someone else sitting at the table while Hansol laid on the couch.

"Oh, Jeonghan, you're home! We saw you riding Blue out there, how was it?"

"Hi grandma," he chirped, sighing contentedly, "It was fun. It was.. new, but not new." he mused, his gaze now lingering on the boy at the table who's eyes remained curious before it clicked.

"Jeonghan?" he whispered, "Jeonghan!" he cried out soon after, shoving the chair he was sitting on out of the way, stumbling towards him, and throwing his arms around him, hugging the elder tightly, "I-I missed you so much, I.." he whimpered.

Jeonghan looked at him confused as his arms wrapped around him, "I.. I missed you too..?" the elder responded softly, looking around the room, meeting Hansol's gaze and Jisoo walked in, looking at the two, expression blank.

"It's me.. Chan! You remember me, right? Right?" Chan pulled away, tears glistening in his eyes, looking at him with so much hope, that Jeonghan couldn't deny him at all.

With his hands now cupping the younger's face, he wiped away his tears with his thumb, "Of course I do, how could I forget about you, Chan?"

The smile on his face managed to grow, burying his face in Jeonghan's neck, his grip never ceasing as he rewrapped his arms around the boy's frail body. Jeonghan inhaled deeply, unsure of what he dragged himself into, or if he was going to regret it, but he could feel the chilling feel of Jisoo's eyes on him, as if he was disappointed in him for  _lying._


	4. V

_"No, Hansol, come baaaack!" Jisoo whined, holding one of the towels in his hands, outstretched and ready to capture the nude boy._

_"I'll buy you food after! We'll all have lunch, yes?" Jeonghan continued, a towel also in his hands as he lurches forward, determined to catch the child, but instead, fell onto the floor with a loud thump._

_A loud giggle interrupted Jeonghan's thoughts that processed the pain he was feeling in his stomach, before hearing the retreating footsteps that he knew was Hansol running away, elsewhere. He stayed still, drained from just trying to grab Hansol and put him into the bath. He was muddy, a mess, and Jisoo's parents are gonna kill them both for being terrible babysitters, specifically Jisoo because he was the older brother. Jeonghan felt a significant amount of weight fall on top of him causing him to grumble, which was muffled against the carpeted flooring. The two laid there in silence, hearing Hansol's light footsteps, accompanied with giggles. Two five year olds weren't all that keen about spending their Saturday babysitting Hansol, Jisoo's three year old brother, when it's perfectly sunny outside. They could be doing normal kid things and ride horses and play adventure games. But no, his parents decided to go do errands, and Jeonghan, coming over to pick him up to play, was dragged into the babysitting job._

_"Jisoo," he began, squirming briefly, "Get off, you're heavy."_

_"No, I'm tired," Jisoo then yawned, stretching over him as he puts all his dead weight on him, "I'm gonna nap."_

_"Noooo," Jeonghan whined, "Let's noooot. We have to finish this before your parents come home, or we'll get in trouble!"_

_"You're right, but he's never gonna get in the bath, Hannie!" he protested, nose scrunching up._

_Jeonghan moved his hands back, jabbing and poking at Jisoo's sides as much as he could, despite his position, careful of not popping his arms out of the socket and crying over it later. The younger giggled and squirmed off of him with a soft thud beside him before Jeonghan looked at him, blowing his hair out of his face with a huff as he rolled his eyes, "C'mon. you big baby, we gotta go!"_

_"But Ha-" the sound of a car door slamming shut was heard and they both looked at each other, panicked. "You get Hansol and I'll start the bath!" Jisoo yelled, jumping up onto his feet and running to the bathroom, the sound of the gushing water echoing within the household._

_Jeonghan quickly got up as well and searched the whole household for Hansol, who was frolicking about, nude. "Hansol, Hansol!" he called out, desperate, as he kept his senses aware, in case his parents decided to come in suddenly, "I promise we're not gonna take a bath, we're gonna go play outside, I swear!" all of a sudden, he sees a head peek out from Jisoo's room, eyes filled with mischief before his grin was unveiled, cheeky and large._

_"Outside? We're going outside?"_

_"Yes, we're going outside," the elder responded, exasperated as  he walked closer, "We're going --" he quickly wrapped the towel around him and carried him to the bathroom, "Into the bathtub, we're going!"_

_"No, no!" he screeched loudly, flailing his limbs about as Jeonghan avoided getting hit in the face by his arms._

_Both Jisoo and Jeonghan had their clothes discarded quickly as they settled in the tub with a flailing Hansol who tried to get out but Jeonghan kept him down, lips pursed as Jisoo quickly shampoo'd and condiiton'd his hair and washed him off, protesting weakly against him, sometimes scolding the younger about staying still. The water reached the rim of the tub, some of it falling out, dampening the tiled flooring._

_"Jisoo? Jeonghan? Are you guys just now giving Hansol a bath?" his mother's voice was heard through the thin door, causing them both to squeak._

_"Of course not, mom!" Jisoo yelled and glared daggers at Hansol who squirmed away from them, "We're almost done!" he continued before his voice dropped down several levels, "Listen, Hansol, I'll bake you as much cookies as you want as long as you stay still, got it!?"_

_"And anything you want for lunch," Jeonghan chided, looking at the younger pleadingly._

_"... Fine." Hansol grumbled, drawing closer to them, causing them both to sigh in relief and wash him much more thoroughly than earlier._

_/_

"Did I ever give you baths when you were younger?" Jeonghan asked suddenly, eyes blinking innocently as he watched Hansol drop the hay onto the ground in surprise, cheeks turning into a delicate pink color.

"Excuse me?" he stammered out, stumbling over his words to look at him properly.

Hansol and Jeonghan were in the barn, tending to the animals inside. More like, Jeonghan isn't supposed to be in the barn, he should be waiting for Jisoo but he was curious about something so he followed Hansol inside and decided to pester him some more. He leaned against the fence with a yawn, watching every little movement the younger made as he tended to every animal inside with care, it softened the elder's heart a bit as he watched. But that could only last so long until he asked him the question that's been bugging him for quite some time. 

Jeonghan tilted his head, "Baths, y'know. Bath times.. Did I ever give you baths, with Jisoo, of course?" 

"Er," Hansol paused, scratching his head, "You did, why?"

"I don't know. I had this weird dream earlier about that so I wanted to confirm." he paused, his smile growing cheeky, "So, you still have the birthmark shaped heart on your butt, right?"

"Jeonghan!" he protested, throwing his gloves at the elder, to which he snickered and caught, "Even when I was younger, even til' now, you're the reason why I'm never going to end up with anyone!" 

"That's a bit exaggerated," he teased, eyes flaring with amusement, watching Hansol pace about with a pout on his lips.

"Whatever, you're literally the epitome of embarrassing experiences and I am  _not_ going to stand around for you to embarrass me before I embarrass myself," he huffed, stomping out, leaving Jeonghan to smile, amused. 

Jeonghan slipped on the gloves after, muttering something along how he was denying that he was the reason why Hansol hasn't even had the decency to get with anyone. Once they were slipped on, he sighed loudly, stretching his arms above his head, leaning to the side for a moment, eyes fluttered shut, "Let's finish things up quickly," he cheered, more to himself as he picks up the bales of hay once more, setting it down in the open space of the barn, nodding his head, "Stack them up and then let the cattle out," he murmurs.

His independent work didn't last that long though.

The sound of the barn door opening resonated within the flimsy architecture, startling Jeonghan as the hay dropped down, specifically on his foot. He underestimated the pain as he yelped, tugging his foot away from the confinement between the bail of hay and the barn floor. Seething silently, he turned around quickly, sending daggers to whoever came in only to meet Jisoo's amused gaze as he lifts his hands up surrender, shrugging nonchalantly, despite the teasing smile playing on his lips. "My bad." he mused, "Hansol said you were in the barn, he looked a bit flustered too.." he trailed off, one eyebrow raised, "What'd you do to the kid?" he asked, hands clasped together as he leaned forward endearingly.

"Just brought up something embarrassing," Jeonghan replied through his clenched teeth as he shakes his foot in a poor attempt to get rid of the blossoming pain.  "Hey, next time, can you give me a shout?" he pleaded, looking at him seriously.

"Everyone has gone through that at least once, it was bound to happen to you at one point in the Summer."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anyway, what'd you ask him?" Jisoo asked once more, nudging the hay with his foot to the designated spot, "I'm curious, I haven't seen him _that_ flustered in a while,"

"Just asked about that birthmark shaped heart on his butt."

"Ah, the infamous heart butt," he mused, eyes embedded with amusement before looking at him surprised, "How'd you know about it?"

"Jisoo —" Jeonghan began, noticing the tense silence that followed, his tone slightly rebuking without realizing as his eyebrows furrowed, "You don't have to keep walking around that subject, or lie about it, whatsoever. You can't keep denying that you don't know me, and I don't know you," he saw the way his lips pursed as a sullen expression befell his face, "It'd be much easier to help me, rather than playing a guessing game."

"Yeah?" the younger responded mindlessly, void of any relative emotion that could give him away, "We should get back to work," he responded idly, cutting in front of Jeonghan who looked at him distastefully, "Nothing is gonna finish itself in here."

"... And if you're wondering," Jeonghan treaded carefully, letting his tongue run along his bottom lip, "I just had a dream I wanted to confirm, all because I wanted to make sure my mind wasn't going crazy."

"... We'll talk about this later, Han."

"Fine," he paused, "You better promise me."

"I don't indulge myself in promises, Princess," Jisoo snorted, the bail of hay in his grip before dropping it, purposely on Jeonghan's foot, causing him to cry out in pain, "Stop slacking off and go do your work." 

/

For once, Jeonghan had to excuse himself from the dinner table.

It wasn't like he wanted to, rather, his phone was going off incessantly and it was getting on his nerves.

It was right after he showered that everyone was dining at the table. His blond locks damp and knotted that he complained about them as soon as he walked out, not realizing Jisoo, Hansol, and Jihoon were sitting there, watching him until he noticed. Then, his grandma looked at him oddly, bringing up the hair dryer she has in her room and for him to come down right after he was done. He recalled how flushed his cheeks got as he scurried away, hearing his grandma comment about her interesting nephew. Fast forward, Jeonghan was halfway through his meal when his phone began to ring. He could feel it in his pocket as he sheepishly excused himself from the table and went outside, letting the warm, humid air wrap around him while the night sky loomed over, painting a dark array of pantone colors to accommodate the time. 

"Hello?" he answered gruffly, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Thought you were dead or something — wouldn't answer your phone or anything so I thought the country side life really killed you." he mused, Jeonghan already imagining the way his shoulders would bounce up and down in amusement, a teasing lilt following after his words.

"Very funny, Seungcheol," the younger muttered, despite the smile that crept up, "Did you need something from me?"

"Just wanted to check up on you, see if there's anything new." 

"I have to work now," he mourned suddenly, earning a chuckle from the elder, "It's so tiring, Cheollie.. I'm sore — and sweaty. I'm usually covered in grime. Blue covers me in spit and Jax is out to get me." Jeonghan complained, letting himself squat down, leaning against the side of the house, "They're relentless!" 

"Welcome to the hardworking life, cousin." Seungcheol teased as Jeonghan heard the shuffling of papers.

"Paperwork for the business?" he questioned, picking at the ground for a moment before stopping.

"Oh, a ton. Especially because you're gone, I have to take care of anything."

"Of course," he replied blatantly, "You always pick up my work." Jeonghan grinned brightly as Seungcheol scoffed. 

"Anyway, before I have the urge to hang up on you," Seungcheol paused, humming, yet the edge was evident in his tone, "Seokmin and Seungkwan miss you, even Gyu."

"Ah." his smile weakened into something bittersweet, "I miss them too." 

"You've changed, Han." 

"For the better or for the worse?"

"I'd like to say for the better — it's nice, refreshing even." 

The two continued to converse, Jeonghan chatting excitedly about his days that he wasn't able to talk to his cousin. It felt relieving for once and he missed the taste of being able to gloat and have all the fun while doing it. He also missed Seoul. Right now, he'd probably be hanging out with Seokmin and Seungkwan, splurging their money on clothes or finer things, rather than working. He wouldn't have to lift a finger. He'd probably doll up and be all pretty for Jun, even though it's a no strings attached fling that he was always whisked away by. It wasn't anything important — they could care less for one another. Suppose it was for status that they always mingled, flirted, and pretended to date to get everyone off their back before turning it into several one night flings that always made him feel so empty. 

"Would you want to come back home?"

The question caught him by surprise as he gazed up at the night sky, looking at the white blotches that represented the constellations as he sighed out, "No," he whispered, "This is far more beautiful than Seoul will ever be." 

They said their goodbyes and that left Jeonghan feeling — lost. He sat there idly, knees hugged to his chest as his phone was clutched tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning into a vivid white before he relaxed, a shaky sigh eliciting his mouth. He's spent so much time here already and had so much busy work, he forgot he lived a different life; a life of riches, popularity, and bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Fake people intertwined with his fake personality he always wore. Aside that, the lack of love he'd receive from his parents and on a good day, he'd get a greeting. He was well-kept here that Jeonghan felt right at home. He wondered where the years went, why he bothered wasting it with the silver spoon attached to his mouth and the relentless effort he put in to his looks, words, and personality he conjured up. Jeonghan didn't know why he tried hard in the first place. 

He was more independent here and hardworking, and it made him feel much more powerful than he ever did in Seoul. No matter how much money, clothes, or material things he had, he never felt that power, the power of doing something good or beneficial. He always felt — _spoiled_. Jeonghan _is_ spoiled. Even when he denies it, he already knew. But it was just one thing he wanted to avoid, just for once, something good has happened to him and he knew it was going to be gone by the end of the Summer and he would have to go back to the neglect and riches. 

"Jeonghan," Jisoo peeked his head out, looking at the sulky, squatted figure leaning against the house, "Grandma asked if you could close up and lock the barn."

"You trust me?" Jeonghan responded, chuckling loosely.

"I've already told you I do, didn't I?" he looked at him seriously, "Unless you want me to go with you, I can. You seem upset."

"No, I'm okay. I'll close and lock up the barn quickly and head back inside. No worries," he sniffled, stretching out his body as he gave him a large grin, "Thanks for worrying, Jisoo."

"I wasn't w-worried," he stammered out, blinking rapidly, shaking his head, "Don't think too high and mighty about yourself," Jisoo huffed and went back inside as Jeonghan's grin widened briefly and then dispersed as soon as he left.

Jeonghan made his way to the barn, feeling the temperature drop slowly, but he knew that it would drop lower eventually. Rushing towards the barn, he thought it was better to finish everything faster and go back into the warm home and then into confinements of his bedsheets. That was the only thing on his mind. He walked into the barn and made his rounds with what little light was inside as his eyes squinted, making sure that the stall doors were locked. But as soon as he inspected Jax's, the stall lock came undone and the rattle frightened the horse as he slammed into the stall door, freeing himself as he trotted out hurriedly. 

"Jax!" he gasped out, running after him up until he got out of the barn, his gaze lingering on the house for a moment before his hands clenched into fists and ran after the runaway horse, "Jax, slow down, please!" he begged — having had no time get his own horse, he blamed the adrenaline rush as he ran on the uneven ground, stumbling, and sometimes feeling his ankle twist to some extent but he ignored it as his gaze was only on the horse.

He watched Jax enter the dark forest, no light peeking in so Jeonghan only had to assume. His heightened senses listened to the hooves that slammed against the pathway, making Jeonghan follow it as his steps became desperate. Deeper into the forest they go, but Jeonghan didn't even realize himself. Just faintly, he saw the horse slow down, looking around and he jumped at that opportunity. He grabbed his mane gently as the horse neighed, trying to get away, obviously enough because it was the one and only Yoon Jeonghan. He ignored it anyway as he cooed softly, "Hey, it's okay. I know you don't like me, but it's okay. We're okay. We'll go back home, okay, Jax? You have too cooperate." Jax protested but reluctantly agreed, biting at his ponytail briefly and then tugged before letting go, to which Jeonghan glared briefly. "We're going home." his hand dropped down the smooth expanse of his neck, patting gently, looking around before trailing off, "Where ever — home is.." 

That's when realization dawned upon him,

He was lost.

"We're okay," he said quietly, trying to provide what little encouragement he had for himself as he beckoned Jax to walk, and he did, following Jeonghan's movements.

He already tried his phone but the signal was weak on his end. Many times, he called Seungcheol to call the main home since it didn't quite work, but it still couldn't connect properly and he was at a loss. 

The two often argued. 

Jax neighing and bumping against him whenever he could and Jeonghan snapping and retorting something, causing the horse to bite at his hair again, protesting. He got used to it that he couldn't do much about his spit slicked hair anymore. As time dragged on, the night sky grew even darker, signaling that it was the dark time during the night where everyone should be resting. Jeonghan didn't even know how much time had passed and underestimated how large the expanse of the forest was. It was cold, his feet hurt, and his mood was brightening. His steps became clumsy as he shivered, feeling his eyes grow heavy but he wiped the sleep away, shaking his head. At one point, Jax began to slow down before coming to a full halt, causing Jeonghan to look at him oddly, "What?" the horse stomped his hooves on the ground adamantly, "You wanna rest here — out in the open?" a neigh of response, "Jax.." he began softly, "I know you're tired but we've gotta continue so we can get home, and I know your hoove hurts but I can't see it in the dark, especially because you're not willing to show it to me." but the horse stayed still before Jeonghan sighed and nodded, "Fine, we'll rest."

Immediately, Jax laid down and Jeonghan sat down besides him, hesitating before leaning against him, seeking what little warmth that radiate off of Jax. His teeth chattered as he hugged his arms to his chest, legs curling up until he was in a fetal position, pressed against the horse. Jax grunted in response but let him be as his tail whipped around briefly before relaxing.

Without even realizing, his eyes began to close, and he was too tired, too exhausted to even fight it anymore as they finally slipped shut as the cold invaded his body.


	5. V

Jeonghan was in pain.

Jeonghan was tired.

Jeonghan was absolutely irritated. 

Sleeping outside wasn't exactly ideal but considering his situation, it was a must for him. It was cold and it was unbearable, Jeonghan wasn't sure how he was even surviving out here. He ached, his body was sore and it was terrible. Above all, he was absolutely  _filthy._ Muck clung onto his clothing and his hair that was previously silky smooth was dry and coarse, complimentary to Jax's spit. He was stuck with a horse that wasn't fond of him, but the feeling was mutual. At this point, there wasn't much Jeonghan could do. He was lost and the idea of that scared him entirely. What if they never made it  _home?_  He was probably exaggerating, home was nearby but Jeonghan had no idea where they were and it was pitch black, he couldn't see. The only thing that could guide him back home was currently wounded and  _didn't_ like him at all. But it was still mutual.  _Back at Seoul, I wouldn't have been stuck in a situation like this._

He would fall in and out of sleep at timely intervals but would quickly be awaken by something that resided within the forest. Everytime he woke up, he'd venture off a little farther, despite not being able to see. Jeonghan only hoped he'd see a faint light that pinpointed where home was, but that was only wishful thinking. Before he could venture farther, he'd hear another sound that would invoke fear in him and rush back to Jax, who laid there, asleep. He envied that about the horse. He was able to sleep in this forest without any fear or wake up in general. Perhaps it was because Jeonghan was beginning to grow paranoid as he sat there idly, wideawake, but also dead tired. His head throbbed, pulsing against his skull like  _thump, thump, thump._ His eyes felt dry, heavy even but not caving into the sleep he craved. That's what was killing him the most; his body wanted to sleep but he couldn't. He had to lay there, leaning against Jax as he slowly grew delirious. He was shaking; being cold and tired wasn't an ideal situation either. But he had to suck it up.

Jeonghan felt frustrated. He could feel his eyes well up with tears and he wasn't sure why, and that's what made it worse.  _Why am I crying?_ he repeated like a mantra, in hopes that he could suck the tears back in and forget his vulnerability. His slender fingers pulled his hair tie out of his hair, letting it snap back into his wrist. Letting his fingers run through the coarse strands, he attempted to smooth it out, detangle his long hair as much as possible. He could sense the tears that swelled up in his eyes, matter of fact, he's been on the brink of tears for the past few hours. He wouldn't be caught in this situation if he was back in Seoul, in his fancy bed, making plans he probably wouldn't go to and sleep his Summer away while his parents were gone for who knows how long. He wouldn't be crying without a reason like he was now, no, he'd be crying about being  _alone._ This time, as the tears cascaded down his cheeks and stained them instantly, he wasn't sure why he was crying. Confusion? Hurt? Someone? It was possible it was all three as his body convulsed, lurching forward as he curled into himself, sobs remaining muted. Jeonghan wanted to feel hurt. He wanted to know what was making him cry too. But it was like his mind didn't want him to find out, so it wouldn't hurt him. Pain was the only thing keeping Jeonghan up right now and if he was going to feel it, then he craved for it to show he was alive. He existed. But did he really? He wanted his chest to feel heavy, his heart to drop with the amount of ache he suppressed over the time here, and feel the sadness drift through his veins and tingle at his fingertips. He wanted it all, even as he caved in and hugged his body to himself until he became something small, insignificant, something to step on and trample until there was nothing left. 

But he couldn't help but hate himself for those thoughts. The thoughs that craved and lusted for Seoul, for his previous life that he  _hates._ Ever since he got here, Jeonghan has been proud of himself. He was able to do things by himself, without them being pried away from him, and a quick scolding about how he shouldn't damage his pretty fingers, pretty face, and slim physique. Even though though he was fond of it, it also made him frustrated. He wanted to do something that showed the world,  _Yes, I'm Yoon Jeonghan!_ He could admit that he started loving himself here. Even if it was for a sliver of a moment, Yoon Jeonghan loved himself. Would he have felt this way back at Seoul? Possibly, but it wouldn't have radiated so vibrantly like it did here. He had love and a warm home, compared to the one back in Seoul. He was surrounded by people he actually liked, and he was uncovering mysteries of his life that was locked away and hidden from him for  _years._ He wanted to recall; he wanted to know about his grandparents, Hansol, Jihoon, and especially Jisoo. Jeonghan felt like an absolute outsider here, but he wasn't going to let it bring him down, he doesn't have the luxury to spend his Summer wallowing in self pity in a place that's beautiful and has the opportunity to change him entirely. 

His fingers dug into his hair, piercing his scalp as he tried to let the pain take over his tears, anything to stop him from crying over  _nothing._ He felt a snout brush past him, body heat covering his shivering and cold body. He turned his head, sniffling, feeling Jax's tongue press against his cheek, wiping away the salty tears. Jeonghan sobbed louder, even though he wasn't sure why or if it was possible as his face was pressed against Jax's muzzle. And it was times like this that Jeonghan was grateful for existing and actually being here, not back in Seoul. The forest's sounds became a comforting noise to him as he continued to cry, Jax remaining still as he was ready to be at Jeonghan's disposable, whether it was to provide affection or simply let his body be soaked with tears and possibly snot. Without realizing, Jeonghan began to feel exhaustion creep up on him and cling onto his bones, finally pushing him to sleep. And he slept, fingers clutching tightly onto Jax's mane as the horse soon relaxed and let sleep envelop them and the night air, along with the darkness the shrouded trees offered them, blanket them both with protection.

/

"Jeonghan..? Oh God, Jeonghan!" a familiar voice called out, but Jeonghan heard it muffled as his sleep entranced self managed to sit up.

He rubbed at his eyes as the footsteps began to slow down, replaced by the ragged pants of someone who obviously sprinted over. Jeonghan shifted his gaze upwards, blurred vision trying to make sense of who was in front of him before he breathed out, "Jisoo." the name rolled off his tongue perfectly fine and he could see the male shaking above him, bottom lip being caught between his teeth as he tried to stop himself from showing any emotion, but it was impossible, "Jisoo," Jeonghan repeated, enjoying the way it slips out of his mouth but he disregarded it entiely, "I--"

"You're stupid," Jisoo cried out, cutting himself off entirely, "You're so fucking stupid, Yoon Jeonghan." 

Jeonghan looked at him offended, eyebrows furrowed before he shifts his gaze away, "Well maybe I am fucking stupid," he pauses, letting his hand touch Jax's hoove gently, "My stupid self went after your horse and got lost. My stupid self was worried more about the horse than myself!" he retorted with a soft hiss, "Your horse got injured last night but he's fine now, if you're genuinely curious since you're only here to reprimand me and not give a shit." it fell out of his mouth without him realizing as his hands curled up into fists.

"Jeonghan, I didn't-"

"You have  _no_ right to take any of your words back!" the elder snapped as he pushed himself back up onto his feet shakily, slapping Jisoo's hands away as they reached out to help, "Ever since I came here, you've been giving me the cold shoulder or leaving me in the dark, Jisoo! Do you know how  _shitty_ that feels? It's  _terrible._ I hate it -- I hate it so much, and you don't understand! I don't know if it's because I'm so fucking sensitive right now, but you've been treating this like a game, something to entertain you with for the Summer and you know what? It sucks. It sucks so  _much."_ Jeonghan could feel his body shaking once more, looking at the blank expression on Jisoo's face before he stomped off, going some ways deeper into the forest before Jisoo had spoken up. Jeonghan had expected an apology, but he deflated.

".. Wrong way, Jeonghan."

His steps faltered as he pressed his lips together, eyes squeezed shut before he walked back, looking at Jisoo's finger that directed towards the correct direction and walked past him. Moments later, they followed close behind him, Jisoo's soft coaxing towards Jax filled his ears and he hated it. He wish he could block it out but it was impossible. His body, his sense of hearing betrayed him as it craved for it, wanting to hear the soft dew-y voice he held. Perhaps Jisoo was just a terrible person that was gifted with talent after talent, and Jeonghan could only bitterly think it was wasted on someone like him. 

He could feel the exhaustion beginning to creep up onto him as his legs shook, trembled. As they exited the forest, the sun's rays immediately heated his body up and he was sweating his seconds. He longed for the forest's cold and shade it beared, but he had to tough it out, despite it being hard to as he forced himself to keep walking. But it wasn't long before his breathing began to pick up, his head began to spin as well. Blotches of black filled his vision as his steps slowly came to a halt, "Jeonghan..?" Jisoo voiced out, careful and cautious, but Jeonghan couldn't answer. His mouth felt dry. Before he knew it, his eyes rolled back into his bed before he collapsed down onto the ground, hearing his name being called once more. 

By the time he had come to, he was back in his bed. He was clean and changed out of his filthy clothing.  _Was it a dream?_ he thought, but knew it wasn't once he tried to move his body and felt the ache of his joints. He tried sitting up but fell back onto the soft plush of the bed and heaved out a loud sigh instead. He felt something warm begin to slip from his face and grabbed it on impulse, noticing the drenched rag. Looking at it confused, he heard his door open and it was Jisoo. He blinked a few times, only looking at the younger as he halted in his steps, a bowl filled with water in his hands. They looked at each other, embracing the tense silence before Jisoo stepped closer, setting the bowl on the nightstand as he sat on the chair next to his bed and grabbed the rag from his hand. 

Dunking it in the bowl, he squeezed the excess water out of the rag and looked at him pointedly to relax before beginning to press the warm water along his face to cool him down. It felt nice as Jeonghan relaxed back onto the pillow, remaining quiet as Jisoo let the rag press against every part of his exposed skin that allowed him. It was silent, and none of them bothered to say anything as Jisoo continued. Only the sound of the water falling out of the rag and be squeezed out was heard as he repeated his action before soaking the rag again, squeezing out the excess water, and placed it back onto Jeonghan's forehead. 

"Grandma said you're staying in the house until your fever goes down and -- until you feel better in general."

"I am okay." 

"We know you miss Seoul, Han."

He flinched before shrugging, "It's normal to miss home."

"Yeah, you're right. But someone like you never admits to being homesick. Aside from that, you've just gotta recover from this."

"I'll feel better soon." he muttered, lips pursed.

"I don't doubt you for one second. I'm gonna miss seeing you make mistakes." Jisoo sighed dramatically, the hint of a smile appearing. But Jeonghan didn't smile, well he tried not to, he was still upset anyway, "Even though you're not smiling, I know you are." he pauses, "Get some rest."

Jeonghan was about to protest before quieting under Jisoo's warning look, "Fine." was all he said as his eyes slipped shut, feeling the rag be removed from his forehead and hearing the same water process.

This time it had taken a while, and sleep was beginning to creep up onto him. Hesitant fingers placed the rag back on his forehead before a soft voice spoke, "I guess I just wanted you to feel the hurt I went through -- but that doesn't necessarily justify anything." his hair was tugged at gently, "But I swear to God, Yoon Jeonghan, if you leave me again, I don't know what I'd do anymore."

/

A few days had passed and Jeonghan was slowly recovering. The words Jisoo spoke was faint in his mind whenever he was left alone. He laid there, unsure of how to feel. He wished he could pry into his own mind until he could scavenge for the missing memories he sought out for since day one but it wasn't that easy. Jisoo had come into his room to press the rag against him until he's cooled off and stay and chat about his day and anything Jeonghan had missed. They talked for hours and Jeonghan would fight against his exhaustion. He loved seeing Jisoo begin to open up and the many sides he had. But Jisoo unfortunately would catch his eyes shutting and scold him to go to bed and leave. Jeonghan would long for him, always.

One day, while waiting for Jisoo, his phone began to buzz incessantly and to his dismay, it was his parents. 


	6. VI

Jeonghan could only stare at his phone that kept ringing and vibrating. Bitter thoughts swarmed into his head as he chose to ignore the call, letting his phone plop down onto his stomach. It grew silent once more and Jeonghan was at peace. But that was quickly ruined again once his phone kept buzzing and ringing once more. His gaze shifted downwards hoping it would be someone different but it was still the same. His mother's name was the only thing seen on his lockscreen accompanied with two buttons; decline the call or to answer the call. He didn't want to answer it at all, he was angry that they never chose to answer his so why should he answer their attempt to come in contact with the son they forgot they had? It was a petty reason but Jeonghan felt entitled to be petty in this given moment. Again, he let it end by itself. He had other things to think of and he didn't want to add his parents in the pile of ever growing thoughts he'd never find the answer to.

But his biggest fear is that if he were to answer that call, he would crave Seoul. 

His parents weren't even at Seoul, but he'd still crave it as he heard his mother's Seoul dialect roll off her tongue carelessly.

He didn't want to leave, but a part of him craved the city life, his outings, and everything else. But then he thought about here. The  _simple_ life. The journey of him finding out who he is and what he can do without having to be babied or having things done for him. He wanted to see life through his own eyes rather than seeing it in perspectives he was envious of. Jeonghan could agree that he was absolutely narrow-minded and could only have his perspective shone in one area, but never the whole domain. His screen went black once more as he stared at his poor reflection on the black screen. He blinked once, twice, and then shut his eyes as a long sigh left his mouth. 

And again, it rang.

Lips pursed, his thumb hovered over the green button before pressing down on it, slowly bringing it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Why did you choose to answer this call but not the other ones?" his mother replied snarkily, annoyance evident in her tone.

"Didn't know you were calling until now. The service here is terrible." Jeonghan paused, picking at his blanket, "Why did you decide to  _finally_ call now? Did you remember you had a son?" he retorted, stifling a snort that wanted to brush past his lips and fuel his mother's annoyance.

"The service here is terrible." she responded sarcastically and then sighed, "Jeonghan-"

"Why?" he cut her off quickly, sitting up. " _Why_?"

"Why what? I need you to speak more clearly to me."

"Why did you bring me here? Why did you lie to me and bring me here?" he asked, sitting up straighter, "Why did you bring me some place that I don't even remember? Everyone here remembers me but I don't remember  _anything._ What did you want to gain from this? My surrender? My suffering that I have to go through because I don't remember people that obviously love me and care for me but all I could do is give them comforting words that I'll remember soon, but I end up not remembering? I'm stuck here looking like a fool as each day passes!"

"Jeonghan, I need you to listen to m-"

"No, I need  _you_ to listen to me!" Jeonghan snapped, feeling his own hand tremble as his frustrations were spouted out one by one, "I know that I'm still under your wing and I'm basically going to be under your wing until the day I die because I can't tarnish the whole Yoon legacy, but that doesn't mean you guys can toss me around and forget I exist and when you do, you send me off somewhere the whole Summer with no way back! I wouldn't have been this mad if you guys were here because apparently you guys remember them if you were able to send me here," he paused, inhaling deeply before continuing, "My first day here.. Why didn't any of you guys bother picking up? Too busy living your lavish life? Too busy traveling everywhere and making yourselves known while your son stays  _home? Hidden._ I don't even care what you guys do but itriemagine how  _frightened_ and  _stressed_ your son was getting dropped off somewhere he doesn't know but everyone knows him. How out of place he feels and his parents aren't even there to comfort him! You've never comforted me in my life." he said shakily before murmuring, "When I needed you guys the most -- when I needed answers the most.. You guys aren't ever there." 

"... That's why I called to say we're going to bring you home tomorrow."

"Home?" Jeonghan echoed, eyebrows furrowed.  _Home._ He should be excited, but the thought of home made his stomach drop instead. It twisted in discomfort and it was odd. His mother being compliant and not arguing back. He wasn't trying to make it seem like he wanted to go home, he just wanted to vent out his frustrations. He wanted his mom to feel guilty and comfort him for once. "I'm going home tomorrow..?" Jisoo managed to appear in his head and his thoughts pieced together quickly;  _what if I didn't want to go home?_

"Yes, it seems we need you." the male seemed deflate at her words.  _Ah, so it's like that._ He grew silent and she took it as an opportunity to continue, "For you to continue the company after your father retires, you need to be wed. On our trip, we found the spouse for you!" she chattered excitdedly while Jeonghan could feel his heart still, his lungs contracting painfully as he continued to listen, "Lovely gal. An old family friend that we managed to bump into. If we,  _you,_ play the cards right, she'll be in the palm of your hands and their company could combine with ours. Think of it, Jeonghan, we could grow larger in business and our sales would skyrocket!" she sighed dreamily, "I hope that you'll have your things packed by tomorrow so we can get you."

"... Selfish." he sneered, teeth gritted. "You guys are absolutely terrible. If you think I'm going along with your plans this time, I am  _not._ I refuse to go home. I'm staying and that's final."

"Yoon Jeonghan, for once in your life, realize how important this opportunity is!"

"I'm not beginning my life with a fake, arranged marriage to take up a company I don't even like."

"This is your father's hardwork, you can't just abandon it. It may be fake and arranged but something could bloom later and  _imagine_ , it'd be so good for us. You won't know if you don't take this opportunity!"

"... Goodbye, mother." with that, he hung up.

He could feel his hand trembling more visibily, more furiously. Jeonghan choked back his tears as the rest of his body jolted, trembling soon after. Was it the adrenaline of arguing with his mother that caused this whole breakdown or was it the thought that his mother really didn't care about him unless it involved  _them._ His phone began to ring once more and he grabbed it, staring at the caller ID to see his mother again. His lips formed a thin line as the tears began to appear on his waterline, threatening to spill over, down his porcelain cheeks, and stain his clothing as a reminder. Gripping his phone tightly in his grasp, he inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm his nerves; trying to calm himself down, but his body  _refused_ to. Drawing his arm back, he threw his phone at the dresser, missing it entirely, instead, hittng the wall loudly. He could faintly hear the collective gasps that flit around the house but he ignored it. He ignored  _everyone._

The tears finally spilled over as he hugged his knees to his chest,  _Terrible, terrible. They're all terrble!_ His nails dug into his forearm, creating small crescent moons that dug in too deeply as a it grew a shade of purple. His teeth captured and restrained his bottom lip as he stifled all his noises; his weeps, his sorrows, his cries. His desperate cries that was ready to burst out, no matter how he stubbornly he tried to quiet himself. He heard footsteps and before he could clean himself to look okay, to look fine, the door was wide open. Through his blurred vision, he saw Jisoo. The last person he wanted to see; not because of his bitter feelings, but because of his vulnerable state and how much of a mess his mind has been over him.

"Get out." Jeonghan whispered, curling more into himself. "Please. Just get out."

"Jeonghan.." Jisoo trailed off, his voice a soft, hushed whisper.

" _Please._ " he pleaded desperately, voice cracking all the same as his cries finally bursted out, "Why won't anyone listen to me?" he asked miserably, knowing very well he wouldn't get an answer.Hearing the door shut, he thought that he was finally alone until the bed began to shift and a large amount of body heat was felt. He didn't bother looking up though, he knew it was Jisoo. Jisoo who chose to stay. Jisoo who chose to comfort him. The room was only filled with his quiet sobs, "I'm sorry," he began, sputtering it through his hiccups and tears, "I-I'll stop soon. I'll be b-back to normal soon, jus-"

His words vanished once an arm was wrapped around him, bringing him closer as his face was smushed against Jisoo's chest, feeling his chin rest gingerly ontop of his. Next, his simple words managed to make him believe it, even if it didn't last long: "It'll be okay, Jeonghan, I'm here now."

_It'll be okay._

_It'll be okay now because you're here._

_You're right._

_It'll always be okay if you're here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HELLLOOO! this chapter is shorter than it normally is but it was because when I was planning this whole story, this one the one chapter that I didn't want to add much into so it's short! i tried to make it longer but..... sdkjgjsdgds! i'm here -- i'm back, i'm alive. school is definitely a trap! i'm glad to be writing even though it's rusty. but i was able to do this in one sitting again so great! my months have been HECTIC but it's been getting better and i feel better. i hope everyone's 2019 is going lovely so far and if it isn't, that's okay! it gets better over time, it always will. just remember, i'm always here to support you guys through anything! 
> 
> until next time < 3


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